Although I promised that today I would do the Daily Post Weekly Writing Challenge, I find myself distracted by the Daily Prompt. It reads, in relevant part:
Give your newer sisters and brothers-in-WordPress one piece of advice based on your experiences blogging.
I couldn’t resist sharing my one piece of advice. Are you ready? Here it is: Use the word “porn” in one of your post titles. One of my earlier posts, Mommy Porn, gets at least a hit a day from random internet searches. I’m not kidding!
According to my stats, Mommy Porn has generated 256 views, coming in fourth place overall for most views after my Home Page/Archives, my Freshly Pressed post, and my About page.
The most popular search term that ends up on my G-rated Mommy Porn post is, not surprisingly, “mommy porn,” with nineteen visitors to WOAW. Mix up the terminology a bit to include searches such as “mommyporn,” “mom porn,” “le mommy porn” and even “mom brazilian porn,” (to name a few) and that number doubles. My post featuring Sir Topham Hatt is probably not exactly what these internet users had in mind when they put in their search terms!
There also appears to be a global interest in the Caillou/porn combo. For example, variations of searches combining the terms “Caillou” and “porn,” such as “cartoon porn caillou mom” and “caillou cartoone porno foto,” brought me about fifteen to twenty new friends. Who knew that Caillou was connected to the world of porn? Not me! Apparently, Caillou’s not the only one having fun in that family!
Other PBS Kids-related searches landing on my Mommy Porn post were “thomas the tank engine porn,” “yo gabba gabba porno flix,” and “pbs kids arthur porn,” to name a handful. One person didn’t care which show he/she found porn for, searching the more general term “pbs kids porntoons.” “Porntoons?” Is this a thing?
The most interesting of the search terms in my opinion is “convertible porn movies list.” Huh!?! There are enough porn movies featuring convertibles to make a list? Or am I too naive to know that “convertibles” is code for some sex thing featured in porn movies? Either way, Cheers to the Convertible Porn Lover! Glad to have you around, and I hope you found your list. In the meantime, did you enjoy my discussion about The Man in the Yellow Hat’s ride through the car wash with his convertible top down? HA!
What does this mean? Well, I don’t necessarily think it means the end of civilization or the demise of humanity. My guess is that most of the cartoon porn searches aren’t nefarious in nature. I’m thinking maybe bored or crazy moms, or office jokesters. Wine-drunk Bunco club ladies, or nutty teenagers. The mommy porn? Maybe more concerning. Who knows for sure? I don’t. And I’m not here to judge.
Perhaps I can restore your faith in humanity by mentioning that there are also many legit searches that resulted in a visit to the Mommy Porn post. For example, I picture the person who searched “dj lance stereo cake,” as a sweet mom looking to make her preschooler’s birthday party special with a custom cake modeled on his favorite show. Or the curious chap who searched “dj lance rock salary,” who is probably steaming mad that he didn’t think to jump around in an orange jumpsuit and become an overnight success in the world of children’s television. Regardless, whether legitimately searched or not, 256 views seems like a successful post, if you ask me.
So, in conclusion, I have two statements:
(1) WELCOME PORN SEARCHERS! I hope you weren’t too disappointed when you ended up on my blog instead of your porn site. Thanks for sticking around!
And . . .
(2) NEW BLOGGERS! Use the word “porn” in a post title and see what happens! Maybe you’ll gain some new viewers too.
Have a nice night. I will try for the Weekly Writing Challenge tomorrow. Thanks for indulging my distraction to the Daily Prompt!
Waiting on a Word 