Breaking Bad Withdrawal- “Jesse Pinkman Lives” Fan Fiction

I’m not sure about all of you out there in Blogtropolis, but I’m missing Breaking Bad.

Yeah, The Walking Dead premiered Sunday night and it was good (not great, in my opinion), but despite TWD, Scandal and my other favorite shows premiering, as well as Knicks preseason, the NFL (including the Jets being better than the Giants so far), I can’t stop thinking about Jesse Pinkman.

If you recall, I begged AMC and the Breaking Bad writers to let Jesse live via a blog post here.  I threatened to revolt against AMC, future BB writers’ projects, and I even made a call for action from you (don’t think I didn’t notice your lackluster response, tsk tsk). My employer, the federal government, shuts down and you get nothing, not one post about it from me, but Breaking Bad threatens a favorite character and I’m all over it, people! I’m not proud. Sometimes it just hurts my head to think too hard. Television is easier. I’m sorry. It’s the American way. But I digress . . .

Last we saw Jesse, Walt had just saved his life, Jesse strangled Crazy Sociopathic Todd  (played by Jesse Plemons, a.k.a. Landry for you Friday Night LIghts fans), and after a love/hate/good luck nod to Walt, Jesse screamed as he drove a crappy car through a metal fence into the dark desert night, away from the meth lab where he’d been held as a slave, forced to live in a hole in the ground and to cook the pure, blue meth for the really bad guys.

Jesse’s last scene as he drove through the fence, away to . . . where??

I realize he’s a fictional character, and Aaron Paul is still around doing his thing. JESSE IS NOT REAL. Still, I asked my BB-watching friends. What do you think happened to Jesse?

I imagined this:  Jesse busts through the gate, screaming. He gets pulled over for a motor vehicle stop because his car is crappy and he’s driving erratically. The police officers ask him for identification, and of course, he has none. They ask him to step out of the car and Jesse, still a physical mess and emotionally distraught (we all know how emotional he can be), loses it and assaults a police officer. Maybe he runs. Jesse ends up in jail, or worse– dead! Dead anyway! Despite surviving Mr. White, a drug addiction, and the meth cooking business! NO!

My friend Angela talked me down and tried to convince me that Jesse is in Alaska. He summoned the mystery minivan that Saul and Walt had used and made it up to the wilderness of our forty-ninth state, where he is a successful salmon fisherman. His meth days are far behind him.

I thought there were flaws in her theory. First of all, how would Jesse even get the minivan to come pick him up?

Angela said if he couldn’t get the minivan, he’d drive up there on his own.

Does he know how to fish? Where would he get a security deposit to rent someplace to live? Would he be homeless? I don’t think he’d fare well in the cold. What about Skinny Pete and Badger? Angela thinks he’d power through and that when things settled, Pete and Badger would come visit.

To prove her point when our other BB-watching friend, Anita, entered the office (of course this conversation took place at work where Procrastination is a Way of Life), Angela asked her, “What do you think happens to Jesse?”

She answered immediately: “Oh, he’s in Alaska.” Matter-of-factly. As if she’d just received a text message from him telling her he was there.

I guess if both of them think Jesse’s living large in Alaska . . ., I thought. I tried to picture Jesse, wearing flannel and one of those fur hats with ear flaps, sitting next to an ice hole with a fishing pole.

“But what about Brock?” I asked.

Little Wee Brock

Anita and Angela tried to convince me that Brock would be fine. Maybe Jesse sends for him immediately, or when he becomes a legit salmon fisherman he sends money.

“But Jesse makes bad decisions. And he’s going to be upset about killing Crazy Todd/Landry!”

“He had to kill Todd. Jesse’s stronger now and motivated to be good. He’s going to start a new life and get away from drugs and crime.”

I’m not sure I’m on board with the Jesse’s-in-Alaska theory (how would he get through Canada without a passport?), but if AMC ever produced a sequel, I’m all in. I need to know.

So my questions for you tonight are: (1) Do you think I’m nuts? and (2) What do you think happens to Jesse?

Thanks for reading and have a good night.