Time it takes to find appropriate clothing for two boys on blizzard days: 45 minutes.
Amount of time spent putting said clothes on boys: 15 minutes.
Size of snowsuit that you are cramming your nine-year-old into: 6/7.
Time it takes for little one to decide he has to pee after said clothes are in place: 1 minute. Time it takes him to unwrap and actually pee: 5 minutes.
Time spent arguing with eleven-year-old over which pair of gloves he will wear: 3 minutes.
Time spent outside in 24 degree weather: 20 minutes.
Number of times you open the sliding glass door to yell at children: no less than 20. (Do you care? No, because at least you are inside.)
Number of times husband complains that you are letting the cold air in: no less than 20. (Do you care? No, because at least you are inside.)
Number of times you yell at children for throwing snow at each other and dog: no less than 10.
Time spent undressing freezing cold, suddenly starving children: 10 minutes.
Time for various layers of clothing to dry: 2 hours.
Portion of kitchen covered in wet clothing: 50%.
Time between stripping children and first cries of “I’m bored” : less than 5 minutes.
Time it takes for parents to pop the cork on the wine as soon as kids hit the sack: 30 seconds.
Here’s to Spring!