Kate, one of my favorite bloggers at Did that Just Happen Blog, has honored me by writing a post for me to share here at WOAW. I love Kate’s blog because she’s personal, witty, and honest–three attributes I strive for here. Please click over and explore her blog (which is currently Halloween themed and awesome!). If you like her post below, here’s a link to her “About” page— go over and tell her!
My life has been busy. I’m not saying it’s been harder than anyone’s, but just to point out that I’ve been busy! You know that kinda busy where when you get a free moment and you’re afraid that you’ve totally forgotten something you were supposed to do and that’s why all of the sudden you have free time!
The point of this is that today I went for my monthly pedicure. Several years ago I decided that the approximately $30 a month was worth having an hour alone. I don’t do a lot for just me as I am very family and friend focused; however, I love having my toes done. I love the feel and how pretty they look at the end of the hour. I love the massage chair and I love the foot rub that comes with it. I love that for one hour every month I don’t have to worry about anything. Everything will be waiting on me when the hour is up, so I can let it all go and just enjoy an hour of me time and a little pampering!
I was sitting in the chair, fiddling with the massage chair and answering texts and my nail technician’s questions and having a hard time relaxing. All I could think about was how I ran out the door as soon as T got home, yelling that the pizza was in the oven, listen for the timer. (Gotta love take n’ bake!) I started questioning if I should be doing this, and was the money worth it.
Then words of wisdom floated to the surface. I remember my dad telling me that just because I was doing nothing didn’t mean that I was wasting time. I remember my mom telling me that it’s not healthy to be with Mr. T non-stop, that we both needed some time away (of course, she wanted time with her grandson, so she did have an ulterior motive!)
Even with those words of wisdom from my parents, I was still second guessing myself. That $30 could go towards something we could do together. We could be spending this hour together – do I spend enough time with him? Is he being neglected? Should I really need an hour to myself? I mean, it’s not like my life has me curled up in a ball on the floor, right? How many mothers, especially single mothers like me, don’t get this luxury? There are tons of women out there dealing with so much more than I am – is it right that I have this escape? Shouldn’t I be solving the world’s problems right this very minute instead of sitting here on my bum?!?
And, then it hit me. I refuse to suffer from mommy guilt over this. I don’t have too. You can’t make me!!! Sometimes I think the mommy guilt isn’t that I feel guilty, but that I think I’m supposed to feel guilty.
Society says I should feel guilty. You know what I say? Screw society. I’m going to have fun. I’m going to live my life and do my best not to cause harm to others.
I’m going to get my monthly pedicures!
Special thanks to Kate for the guest post! Have a nice night!
Waiting on a Word 
Awesome post. Love it.
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Thank you!
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Totally resonates with me, I never knew parenting came with guilt every single day! Did you see m last post? I was so fixated on doing the best fir my baby that I changed my diet, gave up my career…balance is a very tough thing to achieve as a mum. X
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Balance is so important and so very hard!!
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Thank you Jess! I am so honored to be able to be a guest writer on your wonderful blog!
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Glad to have you! I hope you stop by again 🙂
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One of the reasons your life isn’t curled up in a ball on the floor is that you let yourself do this – relax and have time out. I’m the same, I have my little treats. Asides feom deserving them etc, I NEED them to stay sane and keep the anxiety at bay. Oh and I also agree about the guilt thing. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty!!! Gish we are SO hard on ourselves, aren’t we? Crazy talk. Great post AND your introduced me to a new blog. Big win!
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I’m glad I’m not the only mom that has felt this! It is amazing how hard we can be on ourselves!
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Good for you, nothing to feel guilty about.
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Thanks!! I’ve come to love my “alone” time!
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I think we all need alone time to stay sane; no shame in that.
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While that is not how I would spend my spare time/money, I do respect that we all need some me time. $30 and a half hour sounds completely reasonable. I think you should listen to that sage advice from your father.
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Thanks for reading! Check out Kate at http://didthatjusthappenblog.wordpress.com
🙂
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I am already a loyal follower.
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Come on MMK, you should totally try the hour of alone time getting a pedi! Even better, you and your wife should have a “date” night getting them together! 🙂
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You nailed it! It’s not the feeling guilty, it’s the feeling that we should feel guilty and that is just wrong! Get those toes done Kate! And throw in a massage while you’re at it!
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Thank you! Who started the rumor that a “good” parent was with their kids non-stop? I’d like to smack them sometimes! I’ll have to throw in a massage – maybe a once a year treat. Hey – move closer and we’ll start a yearly treat and all have a spa day! Oh wait – let’s all have our spa day and then come back and blog about it! 😉
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A big spa meetup and a link up post about it…I’m totally in!
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Excellent!! We just need to come up with a month to do it that doesn’t have a hundred other expenses.
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I agree! I feel guilty for leaving the house to go to the gym when my stepchildren are home. Then I think, really, are they going to dry up and perish because I am gone for one hour? Seriously. As long as we are good parents, let’s ditch the guilt for doing things for ourselves.
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Wise words, Kate! Sometimes it is the little things we do for ourselves, the time alone, that gives us that extra energy and boost to do the very best for our families!
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Thanks! It’s a long hard battle sometimes to make sure I take care of myself – but you are right, it makes us better for our families!
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Great post! You’re right about the feeling as if we should be feeling guilty – as if feeling guilty wasn’t enough hey! I am really working the guilt big time at the moment and really need to get a grip on it, your post is like a big slap on the cheek, a shoulder shake and a ‘get a grip woman’ pep talk all rolled into one! We do need time out and there shouldn’t be any guilt involved in taking it. Good for you!
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I’m glad that it spoke to you – and super happy that I am not the only one that suffers from it sometimes! Of course, I can only imagine how different it is with a husband and three kids!! Normally I understand how healthy it is and how it makes me a better person and a better mom, but there are times that my heart has a hard time listening to my head!
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Awesome blog and yes don’t feel guilty! You just keep getting those pedicures I know how relaxing they can be when you are stressed and worn out! Go you!
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Thanks!! It’s a hard won battle some days, but a fight I will keep up! I do love my pedicures! I need to post a pic of my current toes – Halloween green with a big black spider web and friendly little spider!
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Oooh I want to see! I am obsessed with nail polish…it’s really quite sad! Anyway, I was thinking of starting to do a post a week on what color/style I am sporting, just because anyone that knows me, knows I am into my polish!
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I’ll send it to you in a bit. Someone has to call me first so I can figure out where my phone is. #FirstWorldProblems
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Lol! I keep my phone silent so that would never work for me!
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oh, no way – I’d never find it then! I even have custom ring tones so that for most people, I know who is calling before I look down – and that let’s me know if I have to fish it out of my pocket or if I can let it go to voicemail! (Never let mom go to voicemail if I can help it – she’ll call back 100 times! Dad can go, he’ll text me if it’s important and if he doesn’t hear back in a couple of hours, he drives over to make sure I’m alive!)
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I have custom ring tones too but I still keep it on silent! People normally begin to wonder if I am alive if I don’t post on Facebook or answer their text in 24 hours. I tried to watch my messages though so I don’t make the hubby worry! I love my phone I just don’t use it for the main purposes hahaha!
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