Mommy Guilt- A Guest Post by Kate

Kate, one of my favorite bloggers at Did that Just Happen Blog, has honored me by writing a post for me to share here at WOAW.  I love Kate’s blog because she’s personal, witty, and honest–three attributes I strive for here.  Please click over and explore her blog (which is currently Halloween themed and awesome!).  If you like her post below, here’s a link to her “About” page— go over and tell her! 

My life has been busy. I’m not saying it’s been harder than anyone’s, but just to point out that I’ve been busy! You know that kinda busy where when you get a free moment and you’re afraid that you’ve totally forgotten something you were supposed to do and that’s why all of the sudden you have free time!

The point of this is that today I went for my monthly pedicure. Several years ago I decided that the approximately $30 a month was worth having an hour alone. I don’t do a lot for just me as I am very family and friend focused; however, I love having my toes done. I love the feel and how pretty they look at the end of the hour. I love the massage chair and I love the foot rub that comes with it. I love that for one hour every month I don’t have to worry about anything. Everything will be waiting on me when the hour is up, so I can let it all go and just enjoy an hour of me time and a little pampering!

I was sitting in the chair, fiddling with the massage chair and answering texts and my nail technician’s questions and having a hard time relaxing. All I could think about was how I ran out the door as soon as T got home, yelling that the pizza was in the oven, listen for the timer. (Gotta love take n’ bake!) I started questioning if I should be doing this, and was the money worth it.

Then words of wisdom floated to the surface. I remember my dad telling me that just because I was doing nothing didn’t mean that I was wasting time. I remember my mom telling me that it’s not healthy to be with Mr. T non-stop, that we both needed some time away (of course, she wanted time with her grandson, so she did have an ulterior motive!)

Even with those words of wisdom from my parents, I was still second guessing myself. That $30 could go towards something we could do together. We could be spending this hour together – do I spend enough time with him? Is he being neglected? Should I really need an hour to myself? I mean, it’s not like my life has me curled up in a ball on the floor, right? How many mothers, especially single mothers like me, don’t get this luxury? There are tons of women out there dealing with so much more than I am – is it right that I have this escape? Shouldn’t I be solving the world’s problems right this very minute instead of sitting here on my bum?!?

And, then it hit me. I refuse to suffer from mommy guilt over this. I don’t have too. You can’t make me!!! Sometimes I think the mommy guilt isn’t that I feel guilty, but that I think I’m supposed to feel guilty.
Society says I should feel guilty. You know what I say? Screw society. I’m going to have fun. I’m going to live my life and do my best not to cause harm to others.

I’m going to get my monthly pedicures!

Special thanks to Kate for the guest post!  Have a nice night!

32 Comments

  1. Totally resonates with me, I never knew parenting came with guilt every single day! Did you see m last post? I was so fixated on doing the best fir my baby that I changed my diet, gave up my career…balance is a very tough thing to achieve as a mum. X

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  2. Pingback: Mommy Guilt – A Guest Post | Did That Just Happen Blog

  3. One of the reasons your life isn’t curled up in a ball on the floor is that you let yourself do this – relax and have time out. I’m the same, I have my little treats. Asides feom deserving them etc, I NEED them to stay sane and keep the anxiety at bay. Oh and I also agree about the guilt thing. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty!!! Gish we are SO hard on ourselves, aren’t we? Crazy talk. Great post AND your introduced me to a new blog. Big win!

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  4. I agree! I feel guilty for leaving the house to go to the gym when my stepchildren are home. Then I think, really, are they going to dry up and perish because I am gone for one hour? Seriously. As long as we are good parents, let’s ditch the guilt for doing things for ourselves.

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  5. Great post! You’re right about the feeling as if we should be feeling guilty – as if feeling guilty wasn’t enough hey! I am really working the guilt big time at the moment and really need to get a grip on it, your post is like a big slap on the cheek, a shoulder shake and a ‘get a grip woman’ pep talk all rolled into one! We do need time out and there shouldn’t be any guilt involved in taking it. Good for you!

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