Socks! (Try to contain your excitement!)

When two friends separately mentioned to me a book they read about decluttering their lives starting with their sock drawers, I knew the Universe was trying to tell me something.

My sock drawer is crammed so tightly that it refuses to close unless I jam it shut with my full body weight. It’s a disaster. Oh no! Does that mean my life is a disaster, too? I wondered.

I know what you’re thinking: That Jess must really love her socks to have an entire drawer dedicated to them!

I don’t, really. No sock fetish here. I tend to wear the same socks over and over. So, what the heck is in my sock drawer? What is jamming up my furniture and my life? HOW will I EVER declutter the mess of EVERYTHING?

I wasn’t convinced it was possible, but on the advice of Shaunna and Angela and their excellent book (I’m hoping one of them comments below to name the book and give credit where credit is due), I thought I’d give it a shot.

They directed me to take everything out of the drawer. Look at each item. Cherry pick my favorite socks and roll them up, then place them lovingly back in the drawer. The remaining socks – the ones still out free in the world – were either garbage and needed to be thrown out, or “maybes” which needed to earn their way back into the drawer. The end result should look like a drawer with one layer of rolled up socks, where I’d be able to see every pair, love every pair, live every pair.

Here’s what I started with:

It’s messy. You can’t tell from the picture, but that pile of socks goes about six inches deep. I can’t see anything except the lucky few socks that wiggled their way to the top. That green pair? That was a parting gift from a medical procedure I had last year. I thought I needed to keep them since they have those rubber gripper things on the bottom. That pink pom-pom you see? That’s attached to a giant grey knit sock with a flannel layer inside capable of heating your feet to astronomical temperatures. That big white blur is a gaggle of ankle socks I recently picked up while waiting in line at Old Navy (they are the current faves – shh, don’t tell the others).

I sighed, then followed directions and took everything out of the drawer, spreading the mess across my bed:

Despite my initial shock at seeing the suckers laid out like that waiting for some sort of action from me, I did manage to dig out some interesting artifacts. Behold, the non-sock items found in the sock drawer!

I played with the non-sock items for awhile, then looked back to the pile of socks and started to sweat. The pile seemed to grow before my eyes, taking on a life of its own. I don’t know, I thought. Maybe I don’t want to choose between my socks. Maybe I like my drawer (and life) cluttered.

My head began to throb. The pressure was too much. AHHH, stupid socks! This must be why cavemen went barefoot!

Every instinct screamed at me to scoop the socks up, shove them all back into the drawer, and go binge watch House of Cards. After all, those green medical gripper socks could come in handy with hardwood floors. The new socks from Old Navy were bright enough to see through the masses. And the pink pom-pom heated socks? It got really cold this winter, friends. With global warming, you never know with this crazy weather when you may need really, super warm socks. Not to mention, I’d never find matches – my dryer eats socks. This is a lost cause, I thought. HOW WOULD I EVER DECLUTTER MY LIFE/SOCKS?

I ran out of the room screaming and took the dog for a walk:

When we came back, I ignored the socks for a few more hours, then decided it was time. Time to do something with the lost little buggers. Time to find their matches. Time to part with the old timers and celebrate the newbies. Time to declutter my sock drawer and my life. TIme to put on my Big Girl Socks and tackle the pile (also, bedtime was quickly approaching).

Here’s what I ended up with:

It doesn’t look like much in the picture and my rolling technique leaves a lot to be desired, but I assure you, there is only one layer and now I see every pair. I’m already breathing easier knowing that each sock coupling has earned a well-deserved place in my drawer. (Just in case you’re wondering, the green medical procedure pair had to be sacrificed for the greater good).

Being unemployed certainly has its advantages. No way would I have tackled that sock drawer in the middle of a work week! I know you’re all jealous of my day, reading this and itching to get to your own sock drawers. The excitement of my life is overflowing into yours, so you’re welcome. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the fun never ends here at WOAW.

If you’re still awake after reading this, thank you. From me, my sock drawer, and my new, decluttered life!