Fortune Cookies and a Universal Freak Out

Last night we ordered Chinese. Sometimes I love Chinese food, sometimes I don’t. It helps when we have it delivered so I don’t have to see the actual preparation of the food. The most exciting part of Chinese for me is the Fortune Cookie (with the exception of the one I mentioned in this prior post that I just didn’t understand). Funny thing is, none of us actually eats the fortune cookie. Usually I open them all and read the fortunes and then the cookies go in the garbage.

Last night after scarfing down some Beef with Broccoli without thinking too hard about where it all came from, I popped open the three cookies:

Cookie 1:  “You will do well to expand your business.”

Cookie 2:  “You will do well to expand your business.”

Cookie 3:  “When it is dark enough, you can see stars.”

No, that’s not a typo. I was blessed with two of the same fortunes. Believe me, Blogtropolis, if I had a business I would be expanding it right now. Alas, I do not. It’s the third cookie I focused on.

I get it. When things look bleak there’s always a bright spot somewhere. It’s a silver lining “fortune” (I use the word loosely since it’s not really a fortune, per se, but more of an inspirational quote). Technically though, couldn’t it be argued that if it’s really dark and overcast you actually can’t see the stars? Sometimes here in Jersey there’s so much city light that no matter how dark it is you can’t see the stars.

But I wasn’t going to argue with a fortune cookie and that’s not why I mentioned it to you in the first place. I mentioned it because the day before I’d just read this article on CNN about the Voyager thing (I think it’s a “probe”) leaving our solar system and going into some other system. Did anyone see this bit of news? Anyone? Bueller?

I can’t comprehend outer space. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out how the fax machine works, never mind The Universe. But the article about the Voyager freaked me out. What is the universe? Where does it start? Where does it end? How could it go on forever? What is “forever”? If we’re just a particle of dust compared to this huge thing, there must be others out there somewhere, right? Do we even care if there are others? How has the Earth managed to survive as long as it has, especially the way we abuse it?

I posed these questions to a friend at work and she advised me to stop thinking about it. Stupid CNN and NASA. I tried to stop, but it dominated my thoughts. Well, most of my thoughts. (My thoughts bounced between figuring out this Mystery of the Universe and singing the song stuck in my head, unfortunately, “Livin’ La Vida Loca,” by Ricky Martin. A co-worker was listening to it too loudly and it echoed down the hall to my ears where it has set up shop for the last 36 hours or so. Help. Me.)

Back to the Universe and my conclusions:  We are NOTHING, people! NOTHING. We’re like one tiny pixel on an IMAX screen. Seriously it could be like Star Wars out there. Independence Day could happen. How would we know? Is this Voyager probe going to find out for us?

Who do we think we are, Earthlings? We could be squashed like a bug by some giant asteroid pitched at us like a fastball from some space dude on a planet a gazillion miles away! (Just an aside, is there a screenplay in that? Maybe this is my female-centric movie pitch to Pixar:  Girl saves world from alien-flung asteroid.)

Okay, I’m breathing again. I think I need a glass of wine. I should have never ordered Chinese food.

While I drink up and download “Livin’ La Vida Loca” from iTunes, I’ll anxiously await a comment from someone explaining the universe to me.  Thanks in advance 🙂

If we don’t get attacked by aliens or hit by some outer space comet fireball thing in the next few days, I’ll be back to post then. Have a great rest of the weekend (and please, by all means, live la vida loca).

Author: Jess

I like to write stuff.

23 thoughts on “Fortune Cookies and a Universal Freak Out”

    1. Bro is good for stuff like that. He’s a big down in the dumps though, hopefully digging out of the muck (literally with the floods and figuratively). We need bro for this stuff though, you’re right.

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  1. I am totally with you on just not being able to comprehend the universe and space or even more so the creation of them. However a little known fact that my Mum adores (she loves all things spacey) and I love because of it is that everyone is made of stardust, literally!!!

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  2. I saw the story – and the guy talking said that there was no way to fully make us understand how big the universe is! As I was watching the report, I believed him!
    Our rule is that you have to take a bite of the fortune cookie for it to come true! 😉 And then sometimes we take bites of each others cookies so their fortunes are ours, too. But, we’re weird in our family!

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    1. So THAT’S why my fortunes never come true! I will force SOMEONE in the family to take a bite. I bet the dog would eat the cookies if we “accidentally” dropped them!

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  3. What’s the meaning of the universe? Where does it start and end? Is there other life forms out there? Here’s the big question: do those life forms from another solar system have any sweet n’ sour sauce to go with this plate of egg rolls? And where’s my egg drop soup?

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  4. I think about the our solar system and it boggles my mind the distance between the planets. It boggles my mind even further that we`re in a known solar system in the Milky Way Galaxy. Millions of galaxies are out there with billions and billions of solar systems. Gosh, and to think the universe is supposedly expanding even further. Which begs the question: What is beyond the Universe? Nothingness? Oh, boy, we could be here all day talking about this subject!

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    1. AHHH! STOP! It’s too much. Definitely boggles the brain. I can’t believe it’s Wednesday already. I still have to visit your blog for your Wednesday woman.

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